Youth is Wasted on the Young

The Fountain of Youth.  Does it really exist.  Do we truly want it to exist? What if you actually found it? Would you share it?  What if you were disappointed with the results? Could you go back Old Age?

I wouldn't go back. I don't want to be younger.  I am young enough.  I don't feel my age or act it for that matter.  I wasn't in a rush to grow up but I certainly don't want to repeat my teenage years. College, maybe, except for the studying part.  I wouldn't even go back to 'correct' my mistakes or failures. I know for a fact I would not be the person I am today without those challenges.  I certainly didn't always enjoy my obstacles but the lessons I learned are appreciated in hindsight.

Some days, I feel like I am 20 years old and then I look in the mirror and realize I really do have wrinkles and crow's feet.  I am getting age spots.  Although, I do not have any gray hair, even without the highlighting!  I must remind myself that I am 41 years old.  On some mornings, my body is quick to remind me that I am getting older as I do not recover as quickly from my workouts.  As I hobble to the bathroom, my ankles creek and my lower back is sore as I attempt to stand straight.  Yet, I am still content with my age.  The numbers have never bothered me.

I have time on my side. My maternal grandmother is 96 years old and still living a very active life on her own.  In fact, her social life is much more eventful than mine. She is in excellent health. She tells me her mind is as sharp as a tack but her body is wearing out.  Good thing for artificial parts.  When she travels, she enjoys the 'pat downs' due to her pace maker! Needless to say, she is not a typical grandmother.  She also sets the bar rather high since she graduated from college at 72 years old and obtained her Master's degree at 84 years old.  She is like a good wine, gets better with age.

Sometimes, I find myself yearning for retirement. Let me be honest, I wish for it more frequently than I should.  It's not that I want to wish my life away, but I feel like I will finally be able to completely relax when I am retired.  People tell me I will be bored when I retire.  Doubtful.  I have many many hobbies and very little time to engage in them at the present time.  This whole parenting thing and career stuff kinda takes up a lot of time!    

So I guess this is why I don't want to be young again.  I know it's about 'looking' young, but I don't want to look like a plastic doll like Joan Rivers either! Opportunities come with age. Wisdom comes with age. Freedom comes with age.  Appreciation comes with age. Happiness comes with age.  We become seasoned as we age.  And we all know seasoning is the spice of life.

I may be 41 years old by calendar years, but I am only as old as I feel.  And I don't feel old. My Dad use to tell me "Youth is wasted on the young."   I think of this often and realize he was right.  As I have aged, I realize how much freedom comes with being an adult.  With freedom, comes fun because you are in charge of your life and what you make of it.  It's about choices and I choose to be young but on my own terms.

You're NOT the Boss of Me!

You're not the boss of me.  I don't like to be bossed around.  Not at work, not at home, not anywhere. I am not unique since most people do not like to be told what to do. Yet, on most days, someone is telling us what to do whether we realize it or not.

You may be our own boss or self employed, but your clients and/or customers are still bossing you around.  They tell you what they want, how they want it, when they want it or where they want it. I'll bet there are times when you'd like to tell them where they can stick it too!

As much as I don't like to be bossed around and told what to do, it is a reality in my life. To me, there is   a difference between being bossy and being a leader.  Bossy people tend to be insecure and unable to perform the task themselves so they resort to being demanding. They develop unrealistic expectations for their subordinates in order to overcompensate for their own inadequacies.  Leaders, on the other hand, learn from others and openly admit when they are wrong or just don't have an answer.

I have much more respect for a leader than a boss.  Anyone can be a boss - just give them the title.  Only a select few can be a leader. Throughout my career, I can count on one hand the number of great leaders I have had the pleasure of working with.  I remember those people - the leaders.  I learned valuable lessons from them - the biggest being the difference between a boss and a leader. I also learned the leader is not always the boss. Unfortunately, this happens all too often and the higher-ups don't even realize the damage they have done by selecting this boss rather than the leader. Usually because they, too, are also bosses and not leaders.

I have been told I am a challenge to 'supervise'. Not all that surprising.  I guess I am tired of being told what to do since I had seven bosses telling what to do my entire childhood!  I know I am not always right and don't always have the correct answers or even know what to do every time, but I also ask. I am not afraid to say, "I don't know."  I don't respond well to be being bullied or talked down to.  Each of us brings a different skill set to the table and can offer something valuable.  I am not perfect and definitely have my short comings, but I am also not a punching bag and refuse to be treated as such.  I speak my mind and voice my opinion. Thank goodness for freedom of speech!  

I tend to be a bit too blunt and aggressive for some, but then again, most females in law enforcement are not door mats. We did not stumble into our careers by accident.  Obviously, authority is a big part of my job especially with chain of command.  I have broken this chain on more than one occasion.  But shockingly, everyone survived! Only a few egos suffered damage.

But so goes life.  Authority.  It's always lurking behind every corner.  Sometimes it's waiting for you to mess up , but just maybe it's waiting to congratulate you on a job well done.  We all deal with it differently and some deal with it better than others.   At the end of the day, you must answer to you and decide if what you did or didn't do was the right thing.  You are the supreme authority over yourself since you have to live with you no matter what.