Hoarding Secrets

Me and my addictions. I'd like to think I am above addiction of any kind but unfortunately I am not.  I am not addicted to drugs, alcohol or tobacco.  These are what come to mind when I think of addictions.  I'm not sure if my additions are better or worse. Mine still cost me money but are not bad for my health. Or are they?  They cost money and spending money can cause stress.  Collecting 'stuff' could turn me into a hoarder! When is enough stuff enough?

As a child, I was an avid sticker collector.  Yes, stickers. I didn't just collect ordinary stickers, I was selective about which ones I would spend my hard earned money on.  I never dared actually use them on anything. I put them in a photo album to preserve them - you know the old fashioned sticky page album with the 'clingy' pages. I enjoyed looking at them - so full of color and each a unique design.

As an adult, my collections have grown, not stickers but other things.  I don't like knick-knacks.  Too much dusting!  I have a tendency to collect craft items (which I use when I have time). Have you ever heard the saying, "The one who dies with the most yarn (or fabric) wins." Well, let's just say, I'm in the running for both categories.  Then there is the knitting needles, crochet hooks, pattern books, etc.

I also have a large selection of rubber stamps, stain glass, sewing and cross stitch supplies. My rubber stamp collection fills a six tiered shelf alone. They are categorized by holiday, season and design. This does not include the speciality paper, markers, or other stamping tools, etc. I sometimes wonder if I have an illness. I haven't purchase anything new for my collection in quite some time. Not needed.

Aside from my crafty side, there is my workout gear collection.  I love bright crazy workout clothes. I am not into matching outfits, the brighter and more mismatched it is, the better.  This goes for my footwear as well. Working out should be fun and my wardrobe certainly shows it.  And let's not forget my irreplaceable baseball hat collection.  No workout ensemble is complete without a baseball hat.  My hats are as crucial to my workout as the weights are to my muscles! I dislike wisps of hair falling into my face.  It's distracting.

Lastly, I guess I am a pet hoarder.  I have three cats, three dogs and fish.  The puppies spend a lot of time up north with my boyfriend, but still visit to torment the cats. In addition to the city pets, we have country pets which include a parrot, two lizards, another fish tank, another outdoor dog and several outdoor cats. So yes, I guess I am that crazy lady! Kinda, sorta.

So, I am officially a hoarder and have a few addictions.  Although, I do not live in a garbage house. I just have a lot of shit!  I like my stuff. I use my stuff. I wear my stuff.  I love my pets. I enjoy my hobbies.  I don't go out to eat, rarely go to movies and live simply.  This is how I chose to spend my money.  I like to create things whether it is a card for a friend, a knit blanket for a friend's new baby, sew window treatments for my boyfriend or create a lean body in the gym!  These all take time, money and patience but all bring me joy in a variety of ways.

So my secret is out.  I enjoy a wide variety of hobbies and could very easily be a shut in, but I'm not! I am more than what you see. I am simple gal and a home body who can be complex at times but overall, just a city kid who learned a lot from her mom and I can be domestic when I want to be! I embrace my addictions because they just aren't all that bad.

The Other Side of the Fence

The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.  Of course,  generally we think it is because we have tunnel vision - it's something we don't have.  We only look at the positives rather than the negatives.  This concept can be applied to many aspects in our lives including: marriage/divorce, jobs, relationships, being poor, being wealthy, being fit, being overweight, being white, being black, having kids, not having kids, curly/straight hair, self employed, government employee, tall/short, and a million other things.

Once in awhile we are given the opportunity to experience life on the other side of the fence.  And as luck would have it, it can be great. It allows us to experience what we didn't have before.  Or it can suck and allows us to truly appreciate what we once had on what we thought was the 'wrong' side of the fence but we can't go back.  So why do we have this fascination with what we don't have regardless of how simple or complex it is?  Why is it not enough to enjoy and cherish what we have already accomplished and experienced?

Success is defined by you.  Failure is defined by you. What? Doesn't society define success and failure? It depends on your perspective.  If you are constantly striving to please or impress others in your life, who is really in charge of your happiness? Not you, 'they' are. Society has set standards that measure how we value our own success and failures.  You must decide how you permit those standards to impact your life and the choices you make.

We all are acutely aware of peer pressure but have a tendency to apply it to our teenage years and less likely to acknowledge that it still persists into adulthood.  You must ask yourself how much emphasis it weighs on your decisions.  In fact, most of us fail to realize it has an impact on us.  in the back of our minds, we wonder what people will think? How will they react? What will be the reward? Or will there be consequences?

We are complex beings and nothing is as simple as it seems.  We act and react based on our experiences or lack of experience.  Life is a constant learning lesson with some lessons being more important than others.  The choices you make in regard to those lessons are just that - your choices.  So next time you think the grass is greener, remember that the lawn may have been treated with pesticide and make look nice and welcoming, but in the end it might poison you.

I can't wait to Grow Up!

I can't wait to grow up.  Even though I am an adult, I feel like I am in a holding pattern.  It's as if I'm waiting for that next phase, only I am not sure when it will actually begin. I know I have a minimum of 10.5 years before I am eligible to retire from my current career.  This seems like a long time, but in life, it's really not.  

I know if I chose to work once I retire, I will not work in my current field. I don't want it to be 'work'. I want it to be fun, a hobby, a passion or something I've dreamed and yearned to do. I think about options and have various ideas but can't make up my mind. Good thing, I don't have to make up mind just yet. I've got time. Well I hope I have time.  As we know, life is not guaranteed, each day is a gift.

Since there is no guarantee, I often day dream about seeking out my passion right now. To follow my dreams and do what would truly make me happy.  But then reality sets in and I realize I have others who depend on me for food, shelter and the general necessities of life.  I have security right now.  Sometimes responsibility has to take precedence over desire.

Choices.  The choices I have made in my life have landed me where I am today. Some have been great choices and other are results of my failures. I have learned from both even though I don't always like the lesson.

So the internal battle continues.  I want the security of my current lifestyle, but want the freedom of my dreams. Is it possible?  Unfortunately, not right now.  I enjoy snippets of my dreams in my daily life but I will have to wait patiently until I can fulfill the rest. I must earn it. I have to be patient. I have to finish the path I am on and follow the fork in the road at a later time.

I will have to wait to grow up for a few more years. I can play when the work is done. So for now, I will have play dates.