Tuesday, August 28, 2012

LOVE is a Ponzi Scheme

I must give credit where credit is due.  My boyfriend and I were chatting the other day about love and relationships and the like.  We also happened to be chatting about work and various cases we were working on as we are in similar fields of investigation.  He came up with the concept that love is like a ponzi scheme.  The more we thought about it the more we decided he was right to a certain degree.

Love is a ponzi scheme.  Everyone is 'all in' up front, investing a lot of time, energy, emotions and giving their 'everything' with the expectation and hope that it will all yield a big return. But as time goes by the investment becomes less and less, the energy put forth drops off as we get comfortable and the excitement of the relationship begins to dull and the daily grind takes over.  The investment is no longer yielding a big return and begins to collapse.

So many relationships end up in this manner even if it was unintentional.  Sometimes, we scramble and make minimal deposits in an effort to salvage the investment.  We may do this with jewelry, a romantic getaway, date night or sexy lingerie.  Once again, these are feeble attempts to recoup the bigger investment.  There is so much more to a good solid loving relationship. There are no quick fixes.  It has already begun to slip away.  Just like a ponzi scheme, once the investors stop investing or keep making withdrawals, it begins to collapse. Minimal contributions keep it alive for short bursts, but cannot sustain it long enough without good solid backing.

What is the remedy? How does one sustain a long lasting, loving, committed relationship without it collapsing?  Seems especially challenging these days with social media, technology, demanding careers and family obligations. I am no expert and have already failed multiple times.  I am learning from my mistakes but I still have work to do.

Each partner is an investor.  Each partner must contribute to the investment.  The investment may not always be equal as each partner brings different values. But each partner's contribution helps balance out the investment.   New deposits must be made frequently into the investment by both investors or it ends up lopsided and eventually collapses because one partner cannot shoulder all of the risk.  However, this is not an investment where new partners are brought in, it is not a public investment.  There are only two shareholders.  The shareholders stand to reap all of the benefits if the investment is monitored and tended to closely.

Sounds simple enough, right? However, just like any other investment, investment in a relationship can be the greatest feeling in the world or crash in one felled swoop.  So tend to your investment.  Make the deposits.  Monitor it's progress.  Learn from past investor mistakes. Check the balance once in awhile and make sure you're on the right track.  Keep your love from becoming a Ponzi Scheme.














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