Gray Matters

Have you ever noticed the different standards between men and women?  How did these come about and why do they continue to take hold? Do they actually bother us or are they just accepted as part of the stereotypical differences?

It begins at a very young age.  If a boy likes to play with dolls, he is a sissy. If a girl likes to play with trucks, she is a tomboy.  A boy who is promiscuous is experienced, a girl is a slut. A man with gray hair is distinguished, a woman is old.  An assertive or aggressive man is successful, whereas a woman is a Bitch.  A man who made it to the top earned it while a woman slept her way there. A man who is muscular is athletic, a woman is butch.  A stay home Dad is a lucky, a working mom is neglectful.

Some of these may be a bit oversimplified, but the general idea is there.  We are a double standard society.  We try to fight it and pretend we have progressed past these stereotypes but they still rear their ugly head time after time.  It'snot just between men and women as we al know. You're thinking, don't be silly. This isn't true anymore.

But it is.  When is the last time you saw a fat, bald woman with wrinkles on the news? When have you seen a man selling a cleaning product on TV other than Mr. Clean or Oxiclean?  How about a male escort/prostitute on a TV series?  A non-sexed up female cop on a TV series?

Of course, we reinforce some of these stereotypes without even being aware that we are doing just that.  Is this a bad thing? Does it really matter?  Is it a true depiction of everyday life or do we project it to be what we think it should be?

Not everything is black and white.  There is the 'gray area' but should we be allowed to pick and choose when that gray area should be applicable?   We are all guilty of the 'gray area' whether you admit it to yourself or not.  I'd like to think of it as a compromise.  It can cross every facet of your life.  We mold this 'gray area' into our lives because we must.  Without the 'gray area', we would be a very rigid and unforgiving society.

A few examples: You're either married or single.  You are a woman or a man.  You are gay or straight.  But even these classifications get blurred as we progress as a society. Couples are in committed relationships, but not married.  There are transgender and transsexual individuals. We have bi-sexual individuals. Is one better than the other?  Who says?  What makes 'them' right? These all fall into the 'gray area'.  It does not make one any better or any worse than the 'black and white' classifications.

We are all human.  There is no gray area about that - we are not different species.  It's the life we choose to lead that creates the differences among us. It's our choices that create the 'gray area'.  A bit simplistic yes, but stripping it down to the basics sometimes opens our eyes to just how closed our minds have been.