Young kids often say what comes to mind. They don't have any filters - yet. We, as adults, accept this fact about kids and more often than not, we are willing to overlook otherwise inappropriate questions and comments. However, as a child grows, they develop a sense of right from wrong which carries over into what is acceptable behavior and what is not. But there is that short snapshot in life when kids can say just about anything because they don't know any better.
Although this filter-free talk can be embarrassing for parents, it is a reminder of how innocent they are and how quickly it is lost when society gets them in their grip.
My kids have provided me with moments of sheer horror and also fits of laughter. The grocery store line appears to be common place for these mishaps. You're locked in line with no place to hide. You have already fought the battle of the candy buffet but have no idea there is still a war ahead. We all know a child's whisper is a decibel below an airplane engine. So when a person steps up behind you in line and your offspring whispers "Mom, is that a man or a lady?" How do you respond because even you are not sure. You politely smile and suddenly wish your child had a candy bar stuck in their mouth.
Another delightful opportunity is the women's lingerie department. Your toddler is bouncing around and discovers the bra section which truly lends meaning to "over the shoulder boulder holder". He already possess the skill of selecting the largest cup size bra and proceeds to display just what a great fitting hat he has found! All the while, a well-endowed woman at the same 'rack' shots you the look of death. Again, you smile and make a mental note that the infactuation with boobs clearly does begin at birth!
And of course, the age old, "Mom, is that lady pregnant?" At times, this is obvious and other times not so much. I equate it to an adult asking a woman when is she 'due' only to find out she is not even pregnant. Open mouth, insert foot.
My daughter was four years old when she came flying in the house crying and carrying on about how her brother had kicked her in the balls. OH MY! After recovering from my failure as a parent, it was explained to her that she did not have balls but a vagina. What exciting news this was to her! So exciting that she proudly announced to her grandfather that she had a "ma-china" and her brother had a penis. Grandpa was not as impressed with this information as he cast a sidewards glance in my direction.
My son was equally amazed at how his sister's 'private parts' varied from his own. When he was three or four, during bath time, he was most curious as to why his sister "had two butts". Obviously, I had failed again in teaching anatomy. I guess I should have been thankful these questions took place in the privacy of our own home.
At what age do we engage our filter? How far does the filter expand? Or does it transform into sarcasm, the adult version of filter-free speak? Or do we lie? Classic question - "Do these pants make my butt look big?" If you are a true friend, you answer honestly. If you are a spouse or significant other, it seems the filter kicks in prior to your response. If you don't want to hurt their feelings, you lie. So where do we draw the line? Is it a filter, sarcasm, or a lie? Shouldn't we just be honest? That's how we began as young children, we called it like we saw it and no one was offended.
The truth is not always easy to hear or tell but at the end of the day, it's what matters.
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