How Sturdy is your Bridge?

I learned many lessons from my parents over the years as most children do. Some stand out more than others. Some are completely forgotten over time even though I may practice them every day without realizing it.  As an adult, it's interesting to look back at childhood and realize just how naive and ignorant we are in our youth. We really do think we know it all, have the world in the palm of our hand and are completely invincible. Then as we age and get out into the real world, we realize just how dumb we truly were and wish we could have a few 'do-overs'.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. We may get a second chance, once in awhile, but it's never really the same as the first time around. Being one of seven children, some lessons I learned by simply observing my older siblings test the waters.   This is one of the limited benefits you reap being on the bottom of the heap.  There aren't very many benefits so I am grateful for whatever I did get!  Some lessons I learned the hard way. Lessons that often ended up with my parents saying "I told you so" without them actually saying it aloud.

Recently, I have once again been reminded that parents do know everything.  Most of the time.  Except when they are wrong, of course. Which is when they have teenagers. Then, we all know that the teenagers know everything.

"Don't ever burn your bridge because you never know when you will need to cross it again. The world is a very small place."

This concept seems simple enough.  It appears it should be no problem.  But we all get angry, frustrated and irritated.  We forget how small the world becomes over time.  We constantly come across people in  everyday life thru work, personal friendships, acquaintances or even relatives who all seem to be connected in some way.  Think about it for a moment.  You meet someone only to discover they know one of your family members or they are a relative of your co-worker, or married to your spouse's co-worker who you met at the office holiday party. It's similar to a company's organization chart linking everyone together, only it's real life.  The chart exists, you just don't know all of the players yet.

When I began my current job over nine years ago, I worked with a cop from another agency for over a  year before we made the connection.  One day, I brought him a tray of pumpkin bars.  This spurred a conversation about how he use to work with a woman at a high school who use to make pumpkin bars. He had not had them since.  I told him my mother was a high school principal and she made the bars all the time to bring for her staff.  He paused, looked at me and said - "Wow! Now that I look at you, you look just like your Mom!" A few years prior, he had been a school liaison officer at the high school where my mother was the principal.  Good thing he liked my mom!

As recently as last week, my mom was once again in the middle of my life. Typical.  She was attending a birthday gathering for a friend. She ended up sitting next to a woman who she didn't know and struck up a conversation about family, careers, spouses, etc.  The woman began telling my mother about her husband who was a retired spine physician.  After looking at her name tag and seeing her last name was 'Winter', my mom asked her if her husband had worked at Children's Hospital in St. Paul.  He had, in fact, worked there for many years.  As luck would have it, her husband was my primary scoliosis doctor over 25 years ago. Furthermore, her son is a federal prosecutor whom I know through work.

These are more of a 'friendly' small world exchange.  The more important lesson my parents wanted me to understand was that sometimes you just gotta suck it up and move on.  There is a strong likelihood you may run across individuals again and again throughout your life. You may dislike them or disagree with their philosophies but one day they just may end up being your boss, your co-worker or a significant other to someone important to you. It's tough to eat words that have already been spat out. Some people are not as forgiving as others. This brings to surface the lesson we all learned, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." A rule which we have all broken.

Take a peek into your own life and seek out the bridges that bring your world together.  Take notice of all the flames you have left behind and hope you at least have a tightrope to cross it again.  In the future, use a draw bridge, raise it and let the crap flow down stream, lower it and continue on crossing the bridge you have built. In the end, you are the one that suffers if stuck on one side of the bank when your bridge is burned. You are the architect of your bridge.

Rachel